ANATOMY OF A HAIR DO, Part II

It annoys me so much when my pictures disappear into cyberspace. I'm nothing if not persistent!

Here is my attempt at keeping things NORMAL by cutting my hair very short after it started to all out. (You can see it was a vain attempt) This DO lasted less than a week. I had already lost so much that the receding hairline is glaringly obvious.

Here are M (she's 6 here) and I looking freaked out about the upcoming shaved head!! (M at age 4 is the photographer)

Somehow I felt compelled to blog about the hair loss. This getting a new and almost normal hair do is a big deal for someone who spent several months totally bald and several more with miniscule hair growth.

Breast cancer strikes at the heart of all that is feminine. (although my plastic surgeon is AWESOME -- the new one looks better than the other, though he has been obsessed with giving me a matching pair. LOL!) No pictures of that here!! First there's the loss of a breast (or two as the case may be) and then the treatment. The side effects of the treatment are almost worse. One can hide the initial effects of a mastectomy and the beginning of reconstruction. One cannot hide a bald head so well. The wig does a reasonable job...but it doesn't feel REAL!

All the while, I recognized that the illness, the nausea, the neuropathy, the hair loss were necessary evils, although I cracked my share of jokes that some day we'll look at chemotherapy treatment for cancer the way we view leeches for fever now! At this time, improving the odds of a long life was more important. Still, the hair really bothered me.

That sort of startled look that of have in the photo with M is how I felt the entire time.

Finally, I feel real. The new hairdo has done that for me. (Although the bangs in front are still too short -- another few weeks!) But I'm REAL!

Pastor Phylis

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1.03.01

THE ANATOMY OF A HAIR DO

THis is from a picture of me with Victor, Marta and Sammy before the liver transplant -- December 2005. This is what my hair had been like for several years.

Last October, chemo effects began. Exactly three weeks after the first infusion, my hair began to fall out.

After a few days of clumps of hair on the pillow in the morning, I went and got a very short haircut. It was an attempt to stave off the inevitiable just a little bit longer. (That picture disappeared into cyberspace) And then one evening, even more fell out all at once and I was left with this.

So Brad and the girls came over for him to shave my head.

M and I are both apprehensive about this head shaving to come!! (the 4 year old is the photographer here!)

Brad finished the job by shaving my head. Both girls helped -- taking pictures and movies (the 6 year old took this one) You can see M's sad face. I had him leave the bangs and a fringe in back that still hung on. For about a week I could wear a hat and it wasn't terribly obvious that I was bald. Howevever that hair, too, soon fell out. And then I donned this wig. Occasionally I'd wear a hat or scarf or both, but most of the time I wore this wig. I'd though about getting a funky one for fun, but somehow when it's necessity, the fun is gone and I just wanted to look NORMAL.

By summer, I was tired of the wig and just started wearing it short -- I really didn't like the short in front stuff. But...it was better than sweating in the wig.

It's been growing since March and by the end of October, it was very shaggy!!

It had gotten so shaggy and long. I liked the feel of the longer hair, but it was getting unmanageable because it was short on the sides, long in back, longer on the right side -- kind of a lop-sided mullet. It's still very curly...this was taken blow dried. I've been wearing it curly, but now it's too long.

Progress,

Pastor Phylis

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1.03.01

Progress

One year ago -- October 31, 2006
Me with Chemo eyes, sicker than a dog!
Bald and pale

Me with the grandaughters
October 31, 2007
With my newly grown curly hair.
Feelin' oh so much better!!

God is good! I'm truly thankful.

Pastor Phylis

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1.03.01

No RollOver Minutes

The Psalmist here is talking about the value of the minutes in a day. Some phone plans allow you to use the minutes unused in one billing period in the next. You may rollover your minutes. But with God:

Each morning God gives me exactly 1,440 minutes or 24 hours in which to live my life. There are no rollover minutes. As many things as I have to do, as much as I want to accomplish, it isn't possible to borrow from yesterday's unused minutes. That time is gone forever. Neither can I borrow from tomorrow's minutes. I have only 1,440 minutes or 86,400 seconds. That's it.

Here is Psalm 90:12 paraphrased:

The paraphrase speaks for itself.

So with the Psalmist, I ask God to teach me to number my days. I need to gain a heart of wisdom.

The Cat's in the Cradle
Artist: Harry Chapin

My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad
You know I'm gonna be like you"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

My son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today
I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

Well, he came home from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head and said with a smile
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

So whose life will you touch with your allotted 1,440 seconds today? God, help us to make a difference.

NO ROLLOVER MINUTES

Condensed from this morning's sermon by Pastor Bob.

Slides are from his sermon. Used by spousal privilege!
Shamelessly plagairized!

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1.03.01

Lives of Quiet Desperation

Lives of quiet desperation

Teaching this year has been a struggle that I've mentioned in several blogs. But about three weeks ago God and I had a good conversation and we decided that if I'm to keep teaching, I have to conqueror my own fears and disappointments and concentrate on meeting the needs of students in my classroom.

One of the first things I did in that new frame of mind was begin to find those unnoticed students (the quiet ones, the pensive ones, the ones who create no difficulty, but neither do they seek help or attention) and simply say something nice to them, give them some extra attention. Since I teach Middle School, I teach 140-150 students every day (30 at a time in 40 minute periods) so it is a challenge to find time to talk to students other than "write this in your planner", "do you have your homework", "you'll find the answer in this paragraph," "yes, that's a verb," etc. Privacy is also an issue; we're constantly surrounded by dozens of other students so personal conversation is not easy.

But this week I collected journals to record grades. In one of the quietest student's journal she had written, "Mrs. Huerta talked to me!"

I remember that day, she was the last one out the door. She looked sad, quieter than usual and I just stopped her on the way out the door. "Are you okay? You look very sad today. Is there anything I can do to help you?"

She just shook her head "no", sort of smiled and moved on. I had forgotten about the incident until I read her journal. It had to have been written later, either in another class or the next day.

I've been working to make opportunities to connect with the kids, but I'll have to redouble my efforts.

Henry David Thoreau said, "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them." Our challenge as Christians is to touch the lives of men and women so that they may find release to sing that song. Even other Christians.

Pastor Phylis (as a Public School Teacher!)

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1.03.01

Quote for the day

"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. And how else can it be?

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?

And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."

Gibran's words from The Prophet:

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1.03.01

An afternoon at the park

What a lovely way to end a three-day weekend. The girls were able to spend the afternoon with me. We ate a late lunch, played Webkinz (for the uninitiated, that's the internet craze for the primary school child!), did some marker painting, climbed about in the park for as long as the mosquitoes would allow, spent some time on homework, had an ice cream and then called it a day.

Saturday was a bust for me. The anesthesia wore off my stitches and I was in a great deal of pain. I made the Saturday night Hispanic service, but did no pastoral duties. I was just there! Sunday was better. I woke up feeling refreshed and not much pain. I actually hurt more today than yesterday, but then I was more active with the girls too. It wasn't intolerable, just a nuisance. But the good thing is -- it's over. I keep wanting to sing a song with that title!! Mattea did make up a song today for her memorization. It worked well. She was happy practicing!

So ta-ta for now. It's back to the weekly grind tomorrow. NO! I mustn't approach a new week with that attitude. I shall be back to inspiring youngsters to greater heights tomorrow! How's that for a positive attitude??

:)

Pastor Phylis

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1.03.01