Ready for Adventure

READY FOR ADVENTURE!

Always ready for adventure! That's a 6-year old's attitude that I must really adopt. (more later)

September 14...Today I needed that sense of adventure! Tests. Tests. And More tests. Echocardiogram, Ct scans of everything, literally everything, bone scans of my entire skeleton. So I drank banana flavored chalk, took intrevenous radiation for the bone scan, plus whatever that contrast stuff (berrium??) is they put in for the Ct scans. Probably if I go outdoors tonight, I'll glow in the moonlight. Now there's an adventure: take a walk in the moonlight just to see if I really do glow in the dark.

I'm not sure what happened to my positive attitude -- I think it has escaped with the radiation! Surgery is scheduled for Tuesday to install the mediport -- I told the surgeon that I wanted WiFi with it. He just laughed.

I'm headache-y tonight -- probably from all the chemicals in my system....so I shall go drink lots of water to flush it all out and then spend all night trotting to the potty!!! Hee Hee. Just can't keep it positive tonight. God forgive me!

I also met some wonderful people today. Particularly the lady who did the ultrasound for the echo-gram, was empathic and helpful. Honestly, from the registrar to the X-ray technician, everyone was wonderful. They must have a hard time staying positive -- seeing anxious or sick people all day everyday. When the doctors order says R/O metastasis, It can't be terribly pleasant looking at film or reports that will forever change a person's life. Okay, enough already!

I know what is positive...the beautiful 6 year old in the pic above is my lovely Granddaughter. Now there is a positive thought!!

God thank you for family and friends who are supportive and helpful!

PJDH

P.S. The reports won't be read and to the doctor until Wednesday. I'll make an appointment to see him on Thursday or Friday. So, no answers until next week. My bones may be wonderfully strong...or not!

"TEAMWORK"

I laugh every time I look at this photo. There is nothing in the world like a team of four-year olds getting last minute instructions for anything. In this case, they're about to play their very first game of soccer. I love the poses and attitudes. There's the laughing child, the one with his hands over his ears, the one with arms crossed looking elsewhere, a couple of them pulling on t-shirts. Each appears to be in his/her own little world and not at all "with it" on the team or paying the least attention to the coach.

But I wonder if it isn't a metaphor for us. God has us together with a task he'd like performed and we are off, lost in our own personal world. Right now, it's such an easy thing for me to become self-absorbed, inattentive to anything or anyone else. I must remember, even with the "special circumstances" under which I am currently working, I am still part of a team, part of a church, part of a family, part of a ministry and I must remember that, remember to attend to what is happening to others. Even if this is a difficult time in my life, it isn't all about me!

Of course, it makes me laugh more that my own little wanderer has grown up and is now working at being a good parent. As a part of that, he is coaching my granddaughter's first soccer team. Yes, that's Brad working to get the cooperation of a group of four year olds. 

It does make a parent smile to see their offspring being parents!!


Pastor Phylis

www.jccelgin.org

Personal Fragments

 
Personal Fragments
(I couldn't find the title of this painting by Picasso...so I named it!)

From a sermon on Tuesday night:   "One night a father was relaxing with his newspaper after a long day at the office. His son, who wanted to play, kept on pestering him. Finally, fed up, the father ripped out a picture of the globe that was in the paper and tore it into a hundred tiny pieces. ‘Here son, go ahead and try to put this back together.’ he said, hoping that this would keep the little boy busy long enough for him to finish reading the paper. To his amazement, his son returned after only one minute with the globe perfectly back together. When the startled faster asked how he achieved this feat, the son smiled gently and replied ‘Dad on the other side of the globe there was a picture of a person and once I got the person together, the world was okay.’" 

Isn't it so true, if I'm together the world is okay. When I'm bothered, anxious, fearful, angry, resentful or otherwise encumbered, the world seems askew. I notice all the wrong things in everything and everyone. But if I'm together, the world is okay. Unlike the little boy in the story, I need the father's help even to get the person together. However, I find that concentrating on the person (me) and my relationship with Christ, that togetherness comes straight from His hand. The Maker can take all those little pieces and put them back together again.

"God help me to remember that I don't have to solve the problems of the world. I need only to yield this one little life to your hands and the world is okay."

Pastor Phylis

www.JCCelgin.org

"Pray more for them"

Prayer Warriors Needed

I was just responding the an email from a friend who said we "want you to know that we are prepared to go to war for you." As I was responding to Sarah, I experienced one of those "aha" moments. I began thinking about the aspects of this disease that frighten me: living under the dread that it could return or migrate to another part of my body; undergoing chemotherapy; losing the right breast as well as the left; losing my hair.

But then God began to whisper to me, repeating my own words "I am blessed." I have comfort; I have a marvelous support system (all of you who "comment", email, write, or call; my family; my church). And I have the support of a terrific husband who seems to know just when to be serious and when to join me in a laugh, or provide the humor to lighten a moment.

I am blessed; I have experienced the intimate presence of God in other dark places, and therefore, I know He ALWAYS is there on the darkest of days. I understand Jehova Shama; His presence will never leave me. I've learned to know Jehova Rapha who IS the provision. I am blessed.

We've tried to prepare my little Granddaughters for the things that may happen to me -- the "owwie" so they have to be careful on my left side; the possibility of hair loss after I begin Chemo. Yesterday, the little one (4 years old) saw me take a pain pill and asked with all the innocence of her babyhood, "Grandma, is that the medicine that will make your hair fall out?"

With my heart in my throat, I answered, "No, baby. I won't take that medicine for a couple of weeks more."

It struck me today, this disease has to come straight from the pits of hell for it strikes at the heart of femininity, and then the cure delivers the final blow. Yes, Sarah, I could use some prayer warriors...and so can every other woman who is so afflicted

In the last three weeks since my diagnosis has been confirmed and announced to co-workers, friends and family, I have had countless people say "my friend's mom has the same diagnosis" or "my friend's sister just had a mastectomy" or "my co-worker is in the hospital now" or "my wife has breast cancer too".

Pray for those who have to suffer and do not have the comfort of knowing just who Jesus is, those who do not have the knowledge of Jehova Shama, those who do not have a solid support system. Pray more for them!

Yes, Sarah, go to the throne for me, but pray more for them!

To all prayer warriors out there:  Pray for me!  But pray more for them! 

Pastor Phylis

Trust in the Lord

Here we are in 1974.
It was General Conference, way too late for the boys to be up and are they objecting. But at this stage in my life I was sooooo sure of the path!
(Now, I'm only sure that that is one really big hairdo)

Trust in the Lord
Proverbs 3:5,6

One of the notable things about God: He is consistent. He also keeps repeating things until we "get" them. The sermon this morning contained the scripture from Jeremiah 29:11 that I have repeated in the blog several times in the last couple of weeks (and have received in various ways from various sources not at all connected with one another, except through the anointing of God) and also the Proverb referenced above: "Trust in the Lord with all of thine heart and lean not to thine own understanding. In all thy ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct thy path." I'm getting it -- loud and clear -- He is directing my path! He has plans for me and they are for good, to prosper me and not for my destruction.

I've written in several past blogs about the Call of God and described ways in which God has called and I have answered. I haven't written about the times when I know he has called and, like Adam and Eve, I have hidden from His presence. But now there's a new element to His Call on my life: it's inevitable, impossible not to answer. It's a call to His Presence, a call to follow Him through darkness, a call to approach His throne when I must feel my way there. A Call that will lead through the thick cloud of pain and illness; a call that will require a fight for life itself. But as long as I recognize this era, too, as a Call from God, I can face it with fortitude and the knowledge that He Himself leads the way.

I think again...What do people do when they do not know God? I am blessed!

Pastor Phylis

UPDATE

For those of you who check this for an update on my condition: I'm healing well from surgery although on Wednesday the drainage line fell out, so the wound had to be bandaged tightly to prevent swelling. However, I went back to the surgeon yesterday and all is well: no swelling. It appears my body has adjusted adequately. And those 150 cc's of gook that my body was expelling down that drain have ceased or are being absorbed. Yuck!

The surgeon believes that he was able to get all of the cancer. However, since it had spread to the lymph nodes, chemotherapy is standard protocol. There is the possibility that some cancer cells have escaped the surgeon's knife and may be lurking in some dark corner of my anatomy waiting for the opportunity to reproduce and create more trouble! Therefore, in another week or so, we'll begin the process of poisoning my system to be sure that none of the malignant cells survive. (Doesn't that sound archaic? Kind of like the dark age!) Ah! The miracles of modern science! However, the oncologist assures us that chemotherapy has, indeed, come a long way in the last ten years and that he will be able to specifically target the kind of cancer cells that I had. (And hopefully have no more). For that, additional pathological test were order to test for receptors, etc in the cancer cells.

Seeing the oncologist: That's a downer; kind of like the upper of seeing the gynecologist for the first time when you're pregnant: it makes it all very real. Chemotherapy will start as soon as my system has recuperated from surgery. Next week I see all three doctors again before any chemo is prescribed: and must have another round of blood tests, EKG, and other system checks to be sure I'm up to the chemo. Jehovah Shama!!

Pastor Phylis

 
www.jccelgin.org

It's a matter of perspective. Triumphant Defeats is an oxymoron if ever I heard one. However, this article by Os Hillman arrived in my devotional box today and it rang true with me. A defeat is only a defeat if I allow it to be, allow it to affect my faith and my walk. God is never defeated. As a Christian, I believe that God has his hand on my life; he is perfecting the masterpiece that is my life. "For I know the plans I have for you. They are for good and not for evil" Jeremiah 29:11 or in the Good News Translation:

"I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for."
- Jeremiah 29:11

Nothing can change God's attitude toward me and his plans for me. I may fail to see; I may fail to follow. But He keeps working with me, for me, in me and through me to accomplish His plans in my life. Just occasionally He allows us to see and understand with our finite human mind how Defeat can indeed be Triumphant. The Os Hillman article follows:

Triumphant Defeats
TGIF Today God Is First, by Os Hillman

This was now the third time Jesus appeared to His disciples after He was raised from the dead. - John 21:14

William Wallace was a Scotsman who sought freedom from a tyrannical king of England in the 1200s. He initially took up this cause in retaliation for his own personal family losses. His cause grew among the people, and it became an insurrection against England. Wallace entreated Robert the Bruce, the future king of Scotland. However, Bruce betrayed Wallace in return for lands from the king of England. Wallace was turned over to the king of England to be tortured to death for crimes against England. Bruce realized his betrayal against Wallace and his own country. This remorse led to real repentance and a return to his commitment to the people of Scotland. He finally took ownership of the mission to free Scotland from England. He led the people of Scotland into subsequent battles against England and freed them. Wallace's defeat ultimately led to victory through Bruce. It took the lives of many, including Wallace, for victory to be accomplished. [James Mackay, William Wallace, Brave Heart (Edinburgh, Scotland: Mainstream Publishing, 1995).]

So often defeat is what is required before victory can be won. Jesus said that unless the seed dies and goes into the ground it cannot bring forth fruit (see Jn. 12:24). The death of a vision is often required before the fulfillment can really take place. Have you failed at something in your life? Have you not seen the vision fulfilled you thought you were given? The vision may yet happen.

The disciples thought they suffered their greatest defeat when Jesus died on the cross. However, this defeat became the greatest victory on earth. Christ's death gave liberty. Forgiveness came to all men. New life came forth-new strength for the disciples. Resurrection and new life came as a result of a "defeat."

"There are triumphant defeats that rival victories" (Montaigne, French philosopher).